Doxophobia
Alice: Please, keep your interventions to the point and ask direct questions, so that everyone can participate.
Bob: We live in a world full of things. There is no such thing as black or white, left or right, short or tall. But we might not know where the line is drawn between dichotomous choices. Orientalist thought is simply not capable of drawing that line. It escapes human understanding. As the Aristotelian school warned us…
Alice: Please, ask your question.
Bob: Oh sorry, I don’t have any questions.
I have my own line to draw today.
Why do people express their opinion?
Self-confidence
You might argue this is a how, not a why. I think they’re both related. Self-confidence is the first thing that came to mind. If you have a strong self-confidence, you’re way more likely to share your opinion in quite diverse situations. By means of self-confidence, you share your opinions. This is the how. I could ask the opposite question Why do I not express my opinion? Because I do not have self-confidence. Seeing it this way, we might argue it’s also a reason. This is the why.
I think this aspect can be improved. People are naturally more prone to open their inner sharings in small groups. It’s obvious it’s even easier if the group is made of, say, close friends. But a small group of strangers also helps. And the person needs a little push. I’m of course speaking from my experience. There’s a book club at work I started attending some months ago. The first session I attended, I said absolutely no word. The next ones I started having short interventions, just because I was asked to share my opinion. I don’t think I would’ve done it myself otherwise. In these sessions, there were less people than in my first one, so that also helped. I still think my interventions aren’t particularly enlightening (or should I say, interesting to others), but if a future session involves as many people as the first one, I feel like it might be easier to share my opinion because I now know some of the people and it feels more familiar. In fact, guess who is going to introduce the next session’s book.
The initial dialogue of this post is my free reproduction of a situation that happened in another book club I go to. It wouldn’t surprise you to know this wasn’t the small, intimate kind of book club. There were many people, and just as in any kind of talk, a moderator invites attendants to ask questions. The person I included here definitely showed self-confidence, but in my opinion, not in the right way.
Self-confidence is good. You just have to find the right timing.
Manipulation
This one can be tricky. There are two possible directions.
I have good intentions. I know this person slipped some part of their explanation. I need to tell them… Constructive criticism is definitely not easy to achieve. How can I tell the author they wrote something I don’t agree with, without turning this session into a bear garden (no, not the Swedish saxophonist).
I have such good intentions. I know this person is wrong. My opinion is in fact the truth, and I need to convince them. I must turn them on my side. I am right.
Pretty sure you’ve also felt something similar in some situation. We’re all a bit guilty. We just need to accept it.
Liberation
I’m done. I can’t keep writing about this. I feel like this is becoming too meta. Opinions are imperfect.
People need to let out what they have inside. They need to share.
This post is liberation. This blog is liberation.
Express your opinion.
Speak.
This post was mostly motivated by a random YouTube video I got recommended. I thought I was trying too hard to write longer posts, and writing some small ones can be just as interesting. Of course, I tried to add my own flavor. I don’t know if I’ll write more of these short posts, but I do know that each post I’ve written here since I’ve created this blog has been an amazing personal experience, this one included.
Likewise, don’t take others’ opinions too seriously. Stay strong.